The Lowbrowser

Most respectable people choose to spend their Valentine's day getting shitty drunk and trying to grab someone's boob. Evergreen students, however, are not respectable people.

Instead, everybody went to see a Dead Prez concert on campus and ended up flipping a cop car in a 200-douche-strong riot. A bunch of people told an officer this black guy started a fight so she arrested him, Dead Prez was all like, "Yo, do something about this injustice," and a bunch of bloodthirsty hippies went on a rampage. It's hard for me to joke about this, because it's kind of a stroke of luck some "liberated thinker driven to direct action by the oppressive social structures they find themselves complicit in" didn't shoot some poor fucker's head off (they were apparently trying to grab cops' guns out of their holsters and searched the trunk of the overturned car for weapons).

Dead Prez can eat my little penis. Whether or not they goaded on the riot (they claim they didn't, witnesses say they did), they're still boring as hell.

Compare:





Even if hip-hop operated on a populist premise at some earlier time, that time has passed."Educating the people through rhyme and storytelling" is about as exciting as going to prom with your grandmother. Fun wins. If you really want to draw people's attention to your cause, put Noam Chomsky in a g-string and have him dance his pasty ass up and down a pole for one of your videos. And if you're going to be all, "I'm revitalizing hip-hop with the intelligence the form deserves," you could at least be cool like Lupe Fiasco or Outkast and let people dance to your music without tripping all over your agendas.

Even the Japanese get it better than we do.



At least they try, Dead Prez. At least they fucking try.