The Lowbrowser

Most people get turned off to pop music (and when I say pop music, I simply mean 'popular,' including hip-hop and R&B) because they find it shallow. It's partially true. At its best, pop music isn't shallow, it's simple. It's popular because it speaks to everyone, regardless of whether or not you're willing to admit that getting laid and getting paid are topics that have relevance to your life.

But sometimes, like with Mr. Gucci Mane, there is no tenable defense. Thus, I am saddened to bring you another such trainwreck of a music video, "BABY, BABY, BABY" by EndeverafteR.



After seeing the introduction and the first few seconds of the video, I was all like, "Okay guys, I get it. I see what you're doing here." But I didn't. Because there's nothing to get. They're just morons.

I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I figured the band probably started off as satire and then, like the Beastie Boys after "Fight For Your Right" exploded, found themselves lost in the joke. I pictured the planning session.

"Oh man, remember, like, Warrant and stuff?"

"Yeah man, they were so ridiculous."

"Yeah dude, totally. They totally had all these chicks with their tits flopping all over the place and, like, legions of fans and all the money they could ever need and stuff. We should totally start a band making fun of all that."

"TOTALLY, man! Oh, it would be so good. We should have, like, a giant, inflatable penis penetrating a giant, inflatable vagina on stage."

"Yeah!"

"And girls, in the videos. We could have lots of girls."

"Oh shit man, the inflatable penis would be so sick!"

"...Girls...just...all over the place...kissing each other..."

So I did some research. A Wikipedia search revealed nothing. What kind of upstart band doesn't try to fabricate some respectability for itself by making a Wikipedia entry? A shitty shit one, is what kind. Then I found their MySpace, which features a giant picture of a girl's face covered in, uh, paint? Blood? Then the band's logo slops out of her open mouth, followed by her tongue.

"In the annals of rock music, you’d be hard-pressed to find a band that’s been championed by both Pete Wentz and Bret Michaels. You’d also be hard-pressed, at least nowadays, to find a rock band that possesses a guitar hero for the next generation, a sexual swagger and an actual sense of fun. EndeverafteR is that band. They (unironically) kick ass."

No. No, no, no, no, no. It's real. They unironically "kick ass" with the douche stamp of approval from two of the biggest douches in music.

Alright dudes, this is not how the game is played. Getting lost in the joke is fine. Just make sure you're telling a good joke. Or, in the case of your embarrassment of a band, make sure you're telling a joke in the first place. There are only three ways to get away with what you're doing: 1) contextualize it with some sort of overarching irony; 2) kick so much ass that irony is unnecessary; 3) do both of the above in perfect balance.

This is how it's done:


Still don't believe that EndeverafteR could be a real band made of real people? Check out part one in a series of four "making of BABY, BABY, BABY" videos:



It would take ten pages to adequately mock everything in there. In brief, anyone who says "a cunthair away from fuckin' fantastic" on camera deserves to be dropped from a helicopter. Actually, everyone involved in the writing, shooting, and production of that song deserves to be dropped from a helicopter.

Leave excess to the people who know how to pull it off without making the whole universe want to murder them.